Gardenia
by Hana no Ceres
Summary: [SLASH] *Kira/Setsuna* Kira's reoccuring dreams of Alexiel awaken him late in the night- but how are they supposed to help him after Setsuna has been sent to an insane asylum?
1. Shadows on My Wall

O.o wow- my first Angel Sanctuary fic... what can I say? I'm not an expert on the series- so don't flame me... just don't read it if you don't like it! Um... I watched the OAV... then decided to do some of my own "research" and I know SOME stuff. Well- as much as someone who hasn't read the manga herself can know!  
  
Damn -_-. I don't think I'm giving myself any credit at all -_-. STOP IT, HANA!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Angel Sanctuary... I don't own the bishies Kira and Setsuna- nor Alexiel... and I hell-a don't EVER wanna own Sara... so there it is. ^_^. Be warned, this story can have some crude themes... some blood, some sex, and even that little annoying Mokona from Rayearth ((actually, I don't think so. He's strange.... o.o))  
  
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/.../: Thoughts  
  
Gardenia: "Shadows on My Wall"  
  
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"Beautiful Nanatsusaya..." Her voice filled his mind- a beautiful voice like the strings of a harp. "Awaken, my love..."  
  
A single silhouette seemed to be fluttering into his vision and he didn't mind. It was her- the angel that had been condemned- the angel that had been cast aside during the struggles far away from where he was- with her. Long locks cast shadows over his eyes; her shape was becoming more and more clear in his vision.  
  
/It's... it's really.../  
  
"Yes, it's me..." The beautiful angel whispered, her body floating closely near him- taking his chin in her hand, tilting his face up to meet hers. "Now awaken, my love. I'm waiting for you..."  
  
"But..." The male stuttered out; he was oblivious to the confusion written on his face.  
  
"Hush, darling..." Her lips leaned in for a gentle kiss that tasted of honeydew. But was he imagining it? All the man could see was her beautifully sculptured face and dark eyelashes that fit perfectly with the pale color of her skin. "I trust that you'll come back to me some day... soon... my dear Nanatsusaya..."  
  
~*~*~  
  
A sweat drenched teen lay still in his silent surroundings- well, almost silent. In the streets below he could hear the noise- the never ending noise that he'd grown so accustomed to over the years. It was like another world out there- a dark void of nothingness but fights and drugs.  
  
/Hmph.../ He heard the thump on the wall behind his queen size bed- and another thump- and a moan. Another sound he'd become so used to. This is what his life had become, right? Lonesome and boring; listening only to the convenient store being robbed and the pleasure filled moans of the neighbor's wife in the dark. /Ah- another Tokyo night./  
  
Kira closed his eyes and absently reached over to the black nightstand, picking up a pack of cigarettes along with the lighter resting atop the box. The usual routine of an insomniac- well that was the way he would have loved to see it. His fingers busied themselves and only stopped when a lit cigarette was held in place by tender lips.  
  
/Sara used to call them Cancer Sticks./ The thought lazily drifted into his mind and he found himself immediately irritated. /Sara./ The name was tauntingly flashed in his mind. /Thank GOD she's.../ Kira frowned, lifting his hand up to his cigarette and flicking the ashes onto the wooden floor besides his bed- which conveniently served as a perfect ashtray.  
  
But he still remembered when it had happened. Fresh in his mind- so vivid were the colors in his memories that he was somewhat ashamed to say his fright of how they could replay. But those memories were the ones that reminded him of everything he'd lost- everything that he had held dear was shattered and ripped to shreds when those visions flooded back. Every time.  
  
)*flashback*(  
  
Her slender form seemed to stand still in that single second- almost as if something was willing her to stay there- holding her in the way of the impeding danger.  
  
And when it finally happened- it was breathtakingly beautiful in his eyes. Seeing the shreds being pulled away from her- seeing the blood drops pour from her enticing wound, seeing the way her body fell lifeless and seductively to the ground. He had enjoyed it like it had been another drug that was filling every vein in his body.  
  
But the one he cared for had not enjoyed it. The sandy haired male fell to his knees- body shivering and shaking in anger and fury. Sara was dead before his eyes. His incestuous love partner was dead before there were any good byes or before he even gave up consent for her mortal being to pass away. The tears that began to pour from his eyes were like the whimpers of his soul- and Kira could do nothing to comfort him. It wasn't his place.  
  
Instead all he could do was watch as Setsuna broke down into silent tears. Those were tears of anguish and pain- as well as the tears of revenge and vengeance- all of which the blond knew nothing of.  
  
And Kira could feel it all- in his body and in his mind. He could feel the life force of the one he cared about- all of the emotions cursing through him. Then it seemed to be a blur to him- too many feelings- too many emotions- then suddenly- they were void. All that was there was uncontrollable and undeniable anger. Anger so swift and enrapturing that Setsuna was consumed in it; his limber body stood abruptly, pinning the murderer to the ground and starting his painful execution.  
  
All that was left afterwards was a pulp that had once been called a human being. It was a carcass of bones and blood- clumps of flesh were thrown about. Setsuna had ripped the man apart- ripped everything apart. Not his clothes- but his skin- his intestines. All of what was once the man was disintegrated in the blonde's rage. And now the teenager sat a top the bloody mess breathing heavily but calmly, hands, face, body, hair covered in a drying maroon fluid Kira knew so well.  
  
"Setsuna." Was all the tall teen said as the wind carried the scent of two fresh deaths in his direction. The blond shivered as a breeze swept by him, ruffling his locks and making strands of blood drenched hair fall into his eyes.  
  
"Sara..." He whispered, looking at the delicate form of his sister only feet away. "Sara, I..." He whimpered out, looking down at his bloody hands and down at his work.  
  
/Setsuna.../ Kira looked down at the female body and sighed. If this was how Heaven would want it- then that was how it would be. But hell would probably freeze over before Setsuna was to accept it. /Setsuna- stop looking at her.../ The dark haired male took a swift step forward and picked up the shivering blond, pulling him away gently.  
  
"Iie..." The teen whispered into Kira's chest- softly trying to pull away. "Iie- Sara- I have to..." And with a sudden spring of energy he pulled away from Kira's increasingly strong grip, running to the still form of his sibling. "Sara- Sara- open your eyes, onegai..." His blood encrusted fingers tangled themselves in the girl's hair, pleading to her. "Open your eyes..." Even under his fingernails was the gore from his victim. "Sara..." Setsuna was starting to smile and chuckle. "Thank god you opened your eyes- I was getting so worried..."  
  
At this Kira's eyes narrowed. /Please, Setsuna- stop it.../ "C'mon, Setsuna- we have to go." But reality was sinking in to the standing teenager. It had been the trauma.  
  
"No- Sara is barely just waking up- aw- what a pretty smile." His fingertips traced over the female's lifeless lips. "Can I kiss you?" Setsuna smiled and looked up at Kira. "Yeah- I don't think Kira would mind if we kiss in front of him- he knows how happy I am that you're awake." He looked down at the girl that was seemingly talking to him. "Aishitaru, Sara..." And Setsuna leaned in for a gentle kiss.  
  
/Setsuna.../  
  
)*end flashback*(  
  
That had been six months before. And what was Kira left with? A life of solitude and loneliness sparked mainly from what happened to Setsuna in the end. The police found him. They saw what had happened. A bullet to Sara's heart drove her brother insane. He mutilated the killer. He started talking to his dead sister. He was in a "rehabilitation center".  
  
What Kira felt and knew, though, was still haunting him. He had thought it was beautiful- her death. Seeing what had been jealousy in his life finally killed had been the best feeling he'd ever had- a weight lifted off his shoulders and finally gone. In those seconds after her body had fallen limp on the floor, his heart was rejoicing. Setsuna was finally within grasp...  
  
But that had been months ago. The one his body and soul lusted after was in a padded room, starring at a white wall, talking to himself.  
  
And now these dreams that he was having were only starting to make him angry and upset inside. Dreams of Alexiel calling to him, kissing his lips- sometimes making love to him. They were getting to the point to where Kira doubted his sanity. She was beautiful there, as naked as the day she was created, and fluttering wings behind her shedding a single feather from time to time.  
  
The dreams were becoming increasingly frequent, sometimes filling the whole of his sleeping night. All the while Alexiel was calling to him and said she was waiting for him. What did it mean?  
  
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Tsk tsk- what is Kira to do? [laughs evilly] muahahahaha!  
  
No Updates till 5!  
  
NEXT CHAPTER: What Kira has been up to since the... incident. 


	2. A Look at the Latest

After a couple months without an update, this story is finally being updated and continued! This chapter would have been up at least 2 weeks ago- but some confusion with my beta, HakuKumo and I and it didn't happen. The dear didn't beta this chapter- so busy, that one!- but she'll probably jump onto other chapters. Anyway- replies!:  
  
NANATSUSAYA-SAN: Kira/Setsuna fics are rare, huh? Yeah- I haven't really seen that many yaoi stories in the ff.net AS archives... so yeah- sort of depressing... I dunno- this story is just something going on in the back of my mind- I always thought Kira belonged with Setsuna- even if... yeah -_-.  
  
HAKUKUMO: I'm glad you liked it, hun! Hopefully this chapter is alright since you didn't get to read it... I dunno- I reread my stories so much that I start filling in words or reading over mistakes without even noticing anymore... So I hope this chapter is acceptable!  
  
NEHANA: [gives her a tissue] calm down, hun! It's alright- it's alright! Slowly this fic will be updated!  
  
BLINDED RHAPSODY: Well... I can't say I want to BASH Sara... she really didn't bug me that much... it's just that if I want to make the whole jealousy deal work, Kira's gotta bash her around a bit. And what I did to her? Ah well, I thought it was good! ^_~.  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Angel Sanctuary... I only own the 1st drama cd and 4th manga volume I hunted down at the Anime Expo. [huggles her things] And I got them at discount, too! But the whole series? Discount? Ha!  
  
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/.../: Thoughts  
  
Gardenia: "A Look At The Latest"  
  
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He really didn't have a mind to do anything in particular- is that what his life meant now a days? He would have dropped out of high school- but seeing that besides drugs, it was the only other distraction he had in his life, it actually had some positive effects to his dampened lifestyle. And now he'd managed to pass the right entrance exams to keep him occupied in a school dedicated to preserving religious sculptures and artwork. But everything he was to learn would be useless.  
  
Who could make a living out of cleaning the surface of an ancient stone sculpture for hours on end- when selling a bag of marijuana could earn him the same amount of money in less than a minute? The idea of an education would have been foolish if it hadn't have been another form of escape.  
  
Slipping his right hand into his leather pocket, his fingers quickly found a silver lighter by which he lit the thin cylinder that hung from his lips. Kira's steps were fast and brisk as he made his way down the streets towards the darker sides of Tokyo- the unmentionables.  
  
"Oi- Kira- didn't expect you this late in the day." A short and overweight man called from down the street, but the tall dark haired man didn't respond, his steps continued quickly.  
  
"Hey, Kira-kun..." A few women giggled towards him as he crossed the wet street covered in trash. The usual old looking harlots of the streets weren't appeasing to him- they never had been. The thought of forcing them to leave him alone had crossed his mind, but he never had time for those trails of thoughts to go very far. All he was there for was business.  
  
Stepping into a darkened bar, the teenage male continued his steps until he reached the backrooms where he stopped and looked around.  
  
"Where's Katou?" He hissed angrily at the bartender who gave him a scared look.  
  
"Back there..." The young man spoke softly which earned him a glare before Kira stepped into the back rooms. The entire storage area was designed with what could best be described as a stripper's club- complete with lights and pole dancers, reclining chairs for lap dances and blow jobs.  
  
To his right he spotted an all ready drunken blond teenager with a naked ebony female pushing her breasts into his face. Kira's steps started up quickly again, and within seconds he was pushing the prostitute away, pulling Katou's face up to meet his by the collar of the blonde's shirt.  
  
"Ki-Kira!"  
  
"Hello, Katou." The tall male's face was unwavering and he seemed un-phased with the stares he was receiving from the entire room.  
  
"He- hello..."  
  
"What's this I've suddenly heard about you not delivering shipments on time?"  
  
"Ne?"  
  
"Are you deaf?"  
  
"No..."  
  
"Then why aren't the shipments where they're supposed to be right now?"  
  
"I told-"  
  
"You told someone else to do it?"  
  
"Hai." Then it was as if Kira's disappointment and anger melted away. His fingers slowly unwrapped from the stunned man's shirt, letting him sit back down- and he stood upright looking down at his business partner.  
  
"Are you alright, Kira?" The blonde's eyes stared upward at the lost looking face and showed concern. His best friend had been acting weird for weeks and it was starting to show more and more often.  
  
"I'm fine." The tall male seemed to snap out of his temporary trance. "Not enough sleep, that's all." Kira grabbed a nearby chair and sat on it backwards, resting his arms over the backing. He looked back around at the people who seemed to be going back to their normal nightly routines.  
  
"You were never were one to sleep much."  
  
"I'll take that as a compliment..."  
  
"Seriously, Kira. Maybe you need a break of all this. I can take care of everything around here."  
  
"Hmph."  
  
"You know I can."  
  
"Yeah- I know you can blow things off and lose a lot of business if you're high."  
  
"You never give me any credit." Katou reached over to a side table and took a glass cup from it, starring at the burgundy liquid. The two were silent for a few minutes, looking at a long haired blond who walked up onto a small stage in the backroom, starting her pole dancing.  
  
"Maybe I do have to get away from all this."  
  
"So you're willing to trust me?"  
  
"Are you asking me not to?"  
  
"No- I just wanted to make sure you aren't going to second guess every little thing I do." The blond leaned back in his seat, bringing his alcoholic drink to his lips.  
  
"I have too much on my mind to start second guessing."  
  
"Thanks I guess."  
  
"Consider yourself lucky, Katou. I have other people on my mind and everything you screw up on isn't bothering me right now."  
  
~*~*~  
  
The slim figure had long light purple locks that fell to the backs of his knees, swaying lightly from side to side as the person walked. The pale and somewhat serene face showed neither happiness nor sorrow, but neither mattered as he carried a silver tray in his two hands. The tray held a small cup of different medications and another cup on the tray was filled with purified water.  
  
The hall that he walked down was silent and cold and the light that entered the white space from the barred windows was muddled softly with the layer of clouds covering the sky outside.  
  
The nurse stopped outside one of the many lone doors and starred at the black spray painted numbers, room number 3752. Balancing the tray on his hip, the nurse reached inside his skirt pocket, pulling out a keychain and sticking one of the many silver keys inside the single lock on the white door.  
  
"Ohayo..." The nurse giggled out, stepping into the silent room, illuminated by fluorescent lights on a ceiling 20 feet up. He closed the door behind him and looked around the plain room. There was a small bed pushed up against one of the walls, a toilet besides it- and that was it. The only other thing that occupied the room was a lone figure that was sitting in the corner, facing the padded wall. "Ohayo." He repeated again, setting the tray onto the empty bed.  
  
The purple haired male nurse knelt besides the patient who was staring blankly; he hadn't noticed any intrusion. "Ohayo, Alexiel..." The nurse reached out and stroked the patient's pale face lovingly before pulling the male into his arms, rocking him from side to side. "I know you must be so bored here by yourself, dear sister." The nurse leaned against the wall, cradling the patient's head in his lap, stroking his blond and chestnut locks. "But I came over here to visit you as soon as I could... I know you must miss me so much, huh, Alexiel? I've gotten so pretty lately- can't you tell? And I got a nice dress to come and visit you, too. What do you think?"  
  
His words came out in whispers as he talked to the silent patient. "I'm doing everything I can to find a way to get you out of here- I know you probably hate this disgusting place. I hate it, too. It's so white- the colors are like those in Heaven- but this place isn't pretty at all. You probably miss Heaven, too... And now all I have to do is find an easy way to get you out of here... I love you so much, Alexiel-chan." The purple haired male smiled lightly at the placid head on his lap, continuing to stroke absently.  
  
~*~*~  
  
The male sighed as he stared up at the ceiling. Is that all his master would do? Continue to dress up and impersonate female nurses as a way to come in and visit his "sister"? And now he was being forced to do the same. Dress up in male nurse outfits and help Rociel get close to an institutionalized patient.  
  
/This will get us nowhere. Rociel-sama needs to get away from this place and forget about HIM. Alexiel is dead- Rociel-sama needs to take his rightful place in Heaven./ Katan frowned and closed his eyes, listening to the deafening silence that slipped through the mental hospital.  
  
/That incarnation will do no good. He'll die soon enough. That's the fate of Alexiel, right? Die young and helpless- angst filled life coming to a close painfully every time. Over and over; what does Rociel-sama see in this kid?/ He turned slightly, reading the name underneath the room number. Room 3752: Modou Setsuna.  
  
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Katan, hun- what are you thinking?  
  
No updates till 12!  
  
NEXT CHAPTER: I really have no clue... it'll come to me! ((wow- this is just a feathery story for me, ne? I have no plot that I can think of... it'll come to me...!)) 


	3. Aoi Means Blue

Yey! Long chapter! Well- longest so far, I think! Anyway- replies!:  
  
NANATSUSAYA-SAN: Sara is the 2nd most disliked character, ne? Who's the 1st? O.O sorry for my ignorance- I'm just curious!  
  
KIRALUVR: Sorry it took so long to update, hun! Been waiting on my quota to be reached!  
  
NEHANA: [laughs] hey- I've made it a point to reply to people who leave me a review with... something to reply TO! I dunno- I always like hearing when authors actually have something to say to me!  
  
SAKURA-NO-TAMASHI: Yes- all the pain, ne? Hopefully everything goes alright with them... hehehe...  
  
HAKUKUMO: I did a good job last chapter, huh? [wink wink, nudge nudge]  
  
DRAGONEYES: [curtseys] thank you! Um... yes- of course Setsuna-kun is gonna get his mind back... after some drama- but yes- eventually!  
  
LORELEL: ((I like your name!)) An insane Setsuna... sounds like a plan ^_^. And I think this is where I'm supposed to blush madly and hide my face in embarrassment. My beta didn't beta the first two chapters- and even this one she just read it and gave it a thumbs up without making changes- so so far it's all on my own... hehehe...  
  
DISCLAIMER: Usually I come up with the chapter titles AFTER I write the chapter... but this one just sorta came out of my head. I don't own Angel Sanctuary- but I own the Japanese-english dictionary I'm using to translate the manga ^_^. Yey!  
  
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/.../: Thoughts  
  
Gardenia: "'Aoi' Means 'Blue'"  
  
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/So beautiful.../ The male thought vaguely as the Alexiel in his arms slowly began to kiss his chin leading to his ear lobe. Kira smiled to himself- the kisses were feathery in how they caressed him and he was content feeling their warmth against him. If anything, he didn't want them to stop.  
  
"Nanatsusaya..." She whispered into his ear as her slender hands moved down his naked chest, fingertips grazing an odd looking scar and his chiseled, muscled torso. "Nanatsusaya... you need to save me..." Her kisses moved expertly down his neck and to his collarbone.  
  
"Save... you...?" Kira closed his eyes as he felt the angel's hands continued their southern movement.  
  
"Yes- save me..." He could feel a soft moistness against his right nipple, beginning to suckle on his pert flesh. Being the ever stoic man, he let no whimper escape his lips which literally defied his desire to.  
  
"Why, Alexiel-sama...?" An old sense of duty flooded him as he felt slim fingers teasing his thighs as the woman's lips moved to his left nipple.  
  
"Because..." The tone of Alexiel's voice seemed to change- somehow it was slightly deeper and more playful at the same time. "Because- I need you." Kira's eyes slid open slowly, looking down at the winged figure resting between his legs, head resting against his chest.  
  
"Set-" The teenager smiled lightly and put his fingers to Kira's lips to stop the spilling of words.  
  
"Sh... Just listen." Setsuna's wings slightly waved and he drifted upwards on Kira's chest so they were eye to eye. "Nanatsusaya..." Setsuna closed his eyes and almost childishly rubbed his cheek against Kira's.  
  
/It's him.../  
  
"I miss you so much..." The angel whispered into his ear, continuing to hover over him. "I'm so lonely without you... always so lonely..." Kira suddenly felt a warm drop on his face- Setsuna was crying. "I need you with me... in me... Nanatsusaya- let me be with you." He was pleading- begging and the feeling was revoltingly sickening.  
  
"Why?" The question seemed to be born of thin air and in an instant Setsuna's face turned to disbelief and shock.  
  
"Because- I need you, Nanatsusaya! I want you with me and ONLY me!"  
  
/This needs to stop.../  
  
Setsuna was crying harder now. "I've waited for you to come take me and make me yours but you haven't come. Save me, Nanatsusaya!"  
  
/I've heard this before- can this stop all ready?/ "Setsuna...?" Kira frowned and the image soon disappeared to the color black and the peeling paint of the lone man's Tokyo apartment.  
  
It had been the third time that week and he was getting sick of it. But it was always one more line he heard- one more whimper and one more tear he suffered through in his dreams.  
  
Ever since he'd decided to take a "break" from work, the strange dreams had evolved into more insistent pleading.  
  
"Why can't they just stop..?" Kira whispered to no one but himself- but the voice that responded was soft and even in its youth was as if it were full of wisdom.  
  
"Do you really want them to?" The teenager made no motion to acknowledge a threat, but sighed lightly as he continued to stare blankly at the ceiling.  
  
"Does it matter?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Hmph... you were always a subtle one, weren't you, Sakuya?" Kira smirked and slowly sat up, running his left hand through his growing black tresses. The child's voice laughed lightly.  
  
"I think that's why you chose me. Well- one of the reasons, anyway..." The teen slipped out of the tangle of his bed called sheets, and moved to the window. He didn't mind his naked flesh, nor the way the small breeze that was making its way into the room sent chills through his exposed body. It felt natural and anyone on the opposite side of the street who *happened* to be looking over could tell. "Why don't you answer to the dreams instead of ending them like that?" The child was curious.  
  
"Because they're not real." Kira closed his eyes and tilted his face downwards, locks of hair falling around his still face.  
  
"Weren't you the one reading a book about suppressed desires being revealed in your dreams...? Who wrote that again...?"  
  
"Froyd."  
  
"Then stop ignoring that you wanna see Setsuna-kun."  
  
"You say 'kun' like you know him personally." A small smile curled onto his lips.  
  
"I know him well enough through you. Besides- isn't he the one you're always moaning on about when you're touching yourself?"  
  
Kira frowned and shook his head. "Oh that's nice- a kid with a sense of humor." The ghost child sitting on the small bed laughed lightly- and even if it was full of mirth, it was odd. The voice was echoing and unnatural.  
  
"But... you know it's true. You miss him a lot."  
  
"Hmph."  
  
"Then see him."  
  
"And what will that change?" Kira's voice was soft. "All the times I've gone to try and see him- to reach him... they're useless, Sakuya. He doesn't remember me."  
  
"Are you sure about that?" It took a moment to sink in, but the teenager soon whirled around in his spot by the window, anger on his entire face.  
  
"Don't you think I've tried to understand!? I love him, Sakuya- you know that as much as I do- and you think it's easy for me to see him sitting there on a bed with a blank expression on his face- not responding to anything I say or do?! Do you think I like it?"  
  
The child on the bed made no motion to show he was scared, angered- appalled. He sat there behind his glasses studying the slowly calming Kira who had just gone on a rant. "I know you hate it. I can feel it in you. But haven't you thought that maybe he's just thinking about something else all the time? And that just maybe now he's ready to talk to you?" And the image of Sakuya faded away, leaving Kira staring at the spot where his younger "self" had been.  
  
~*~*~  
  
/I know you miss him./  
  
In a totally black space, there were two figures floating side by side. Both with eyes closed, both with relaxed expressions, but only one with tears streaming in twin trails down his cheeks.  
  
//He's not listening.//  
  
One was male and the other female.  
  
/He'll come./  
  
Both their ages were undeterminable, but the female was obviously older in the way her body had grown to full maturity. The male still seemed to be only years away from reaching his final height.  
  
//I'm scared he won't.//  
  
Their naked flesh was pale in comparison to the entire black of their surroundings; it glowed almost.  
  
/Trust in him./  
  
The tears down the male's face continued, leaving the area under his eyes slightly pink.  
  
//I miss him so bad.//  
  
The woman's long dark brown locks drifted around her slim form.  
  
/So believe my promise that he's coming for you./  
  
The tears seemed to be slowing down.  
  
//I want to believe that.//  
  
/Then please believe./  
  
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Spooky-ooky!  
  
NO UPDATES TILL 20! ((Wow- 20 for an AS fic? Damn))  
  
NEXT CHAPTER: It'll probably be from Katan or Rociel's POV... I haven't decided yet ^_^. 


	4. Calling them Greatful Days

Yes- I know it's been... what- 2 months? But life has certainly been demanding- and that huge thing called a writer's block kept getting on my nerves. But thanks to some Angel Sanctuary-related-essay writing, I was able to pull this out of thin air! And alas, it's here for you all to read! Replies!:  
  
MONARTH: [laughs] Setsuna/Sara is disturbing because it's incest while Kira/Setsuna isn't because they're guys, right? Hehe... amusing to think about, actually!  
  
NEHANA: You were close, hun- the two people together at the end were Setsuna and Alexiel. I didn't know it would be that unclear o.o strange!  
  
SAKURA-NO-TAMASHI: Yey! You got the two right! I thought I made it obvious but some people still didn't get it... u.u whatever, though! And I didn't intend for Sakuya to be a psychologist- but it can't be helped, ya know? He's a smart kid!  
  
ANDRO-CHAN: You know, I couldn't really imagine having that scene WITHOUT having that line. It made me laugh just when I re-read it after I wrote the chapter... Yes, it would also be curious to know what Sakuya thought through-out the entire AS story. All the drama and all the pain and crying... ah... angst... ((this is where I look dreamily at the sky and sigh lightly)) [looks at the sky dreamily and sigh lightly]  
  
HORYUU: You're not the only one who dislikes Sara! C'mon, now! Sheesh!  
  
ILAHJA: [teases with the new chapter] hehe...!  
  
So far, the amount of reviews I've gotten for this fic have surpassed my expectations. Considering that review counts on many AS fics are pretty darn low, having 25 reviews over 3 chapters is certainly an achievement! Thank you guys and keep them coming!  
  
And wave to my beta-reader HAKUKUMO! ((Thank you, sis!))  
  
Disclaimer: No- I don't own Angel Sanctuary. No I don't own Ayumi Hamasaki's song title "Grateful Days". And no- I won't buy you guys chicken salads! -_-.  
  
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/.../: Thoughts  
  
Gardenia: "Calling them 'Grateful Days'"  
  
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The male sat silently with his back against the wall of the nurse's quarters; it was dark with only moonlight flooding through the small square window close to the ceiling, leaving a single square on the tiled floor. The small room had only two beds which were raised only a foot and a half from the ground; both were covered in crisp white sheets- the two being occupied by two men who frankly weren't supposed to be there. One was a cherub that defied heaven and broke the seal containing his master- the other WAS his master, asleep from the long day of well... doing nothing.  
  
Katan spent his sleepless nights observing the silhouette of his master underneath the flimsy bed sheets- and it had almost become natural to space out while staring at the feminine curves of the other man.  
  
/He's so beautiful./ The cherub thought vaguely as his eyes wandered over Rociel's legs, hips, and shoulders. Anyone else would have thought it obsession- but it wasn't as if he particularly cared. All he could focus on was the porcelain-like features and graceful form that was his master. The truth was that he wanted him all for himself.  
  
/But I'm here- stuck in this cold building waiting on a teenager that's insane./ His eyes drifted down to his hand which was clenched into a fist. /He's a waste of Rociel-sama's and my time./  
  
The reality he wasn't willing to admit to Rociel, though, was that he hated the silent incarnation that sat alone in his "prison" cell. He hated the fact that all his master thought about was his sister's most recent form. If anything, all Katan could see was red whenever Rociel spoke of Setsuna.  
  
"I hate him..." He mumbled as his eyes flickered to the square patch of light on the white tiling of the room. "I hate that son of a bitch and will do anything to get him out of the picture." After spending more than 5 months in a mental institution looking after Setsuna, he was at least willing to admit to himself his true feelings.  
  
~*~*~  
  
Rociel sat behind the lobby desk with a small smile playing on his lips as he twirled a pencil between his index finger and thumb, reading over patient files that were supposed to be kept confidential. He was humming a soft hymn he'd heard in Heaven so many years before, but it was soothing to him and no one would be around to listen.  
  
The lobby was large, spacious, and white. The ceiling was high- at least 2 stories high- and large windows from ceiling to floor opened the view to a huge green lawn filled with willow trees. If anything, it was ominous in it's coldness that could be viewed by the marine layer hanging low outside. The floor was covered in intricately carved marble that reflected the gray coming through the windows and left everything feeling oddly unwelcoming.  
  
/This one is really messed up.../ He smirked lightly, pushing a strand of lilac hair behind his ear as he closed the manila folder he'd been reading. The file had been full of pictures and psychological forms discussing a man named Sutsu's obsession with little girls- and his hentai thoughts about them as well. /He'd fit right in Heaven.../ Rociel stood up, stretched lazily and fixed his long white skirt that fell to the back of his calves.  
  
"Rociel-sama." A lone voice called from the other side of the large lobby, Katan was walking towards him with a tray carrying a tall glass of water and a bowl that was probably salad. The purple haired male turned to look at him, attitude somewhat upbeat.  
  
"Hello, Katan." His voice was a mixture of flirtation and authority as he walked around the receptionist desk and towards him. Katan bowed somewhat awkwardly with the tray in his hand, but it was still respectful.  
  
"Anything new with Setsuna-kun?" Rociel was unaware of the frown that plastered itself on the cherub's face as he set the food tray on the reception desk.  
  
"Iie, Rociel-sama."  
  
"Ah well... we should see something soon."  
  
"If you don't mind me asking, what changes are we expecting to see in him?" Rociel looked up from the glass of water he held in his soft crème colored hand.  
  
"We've already discussed this, Katan..." He rolled his eyes impatiently. "We're going to wait and see when he suddenly starts acknowledging us." Rociel's porcelain face had a dreamy look as he said this, eyes turning to the ceiling happily. "I'll be so excited when he finally looks into my eyes when we talk. Alexiel'll finally be with me again- it'll be wonderful...!"  
  
Anyone who that had been watching would have certainly agreed the obsession guaranteed Rociel a cell along with the other people in the mental institute, but one simple fact didn't allow Rociel to even be SEEN: everyone in the hospital besides Rociel, Katan, and Setsuna were dead. It was the only way for the three to occupy the entire building in peace. The people in the cells had been starved to death, the nurses and doctors been forced to take a familiar small pill for "future use". Anyone who visited joined the suffering reserves of nurses and doctors and again the entire place was silent.  
  
Katan stepped away from the receptionist desk and turned towards the windows looking out to the green fields and willow trees.  
  
"Is something the matter, Katan?" A soft voice whispered into his ear sending chills down the cherub's spine.  
  
/It's always like this.../ He thought vaguely as he closed his eyes, feeling the warm presence behind him.  
  
"Everything is fine, Rociel-sama." Katan choked out, clenching his fists in his doctor's coat pockets.  
  
"Doesn't seem that way..." Almost instinctively the angel reached slowly inside his left pocket, pulling out the fist and bringing it to his lips, kissing the knuckles with beautifully pert lips.  
  
/Stop... please, Rociel-sama.../ The cherub could feel warmth spreading from the skin of his knuckles, up his arm, and through his entire body including his groin. He could smell Rociel's fragrance- a soft flowery scent that he couldn't quite place- maybe lavender..?  
  
"You should calm down, Katan-kun..." Rociel continued to trace his lips along the sculptured skin. "Once Alexiel wakes up, you'll be happy again."  
  
The words were like the stone that suddenly was dropped in the ocean and sunk infinite depths to hit the sea bottom. Katan's blood turned cold, yet he did nothing to push away the body he wanted more than anything. He couldn't ever see himself being happy with disappointing the angel behind him.  
  
"You're right, Rociel-sama." The purple haired male giggled lightly at this as he took hold of Katan's hand, turned him, and started pulling him towards the locked doors that led to the foul smelling corridors of locked up patients. They had yet to remove the dead bodies from their rooms.  
  
"Let's go see Setsuna-kun!"  
  
~*~*~  
  
Kira's fingertips grazed along his bottom lip as he stared out the window in the electric train he sat in. The landscape was dark and expansive even if it was only noon. He couldn't sleep in a growing anticipation that he couldn't particularly ignore. And after making sure everything would run smoothly in his absence of Tokyo, he was finally ready to give into the calling he felt deep down in his bones.  
  
/This is crazy.../ He thought vaguely as a voice came over the intercom and announced the next stop. As much as the trip he was taking might be "crazy", he stood up, nonetheless, and gathered his black shoulder bag and trench coat.  
  
The high speed train slowed down at a very small station with only a few old peasant-like men getting off along with him. The town was extremely small with only a slab of concrete as a station and a single dirt road with a single row of shops and houses. The small town seemed to be built for the ominous white mental institution two miles away that stood out in contrast to the small town. It was odd enough to Kira that such a place could exist while Tokyo was a deep contrast to it.  
  
He began to walk towards the outline of the mental institute- there was no use waiting for a car or any form of transportation. As he did, though, he couldn't help but feel extremely alone in the town as he walked. There were no people in the shops- no people in the streets- and the old men who had gotten off the train with him seemed to have disappeared into thin air.  
  
/What's with this place...?/ Old instincts were seeping in as his eyes shifted uneasily through the vacant area. /Keeping my guard up is probably good right now.../ Kira reached into his trench coat pocket, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and lighter. Within a few seconds a burning cigarette was between his lips. The nicotine would help pass the hour walk through the silent town towards the silhouette of the white building in the distance.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Yes- a small tribute to Silent Hill...! [wiggles fingers]  
  
No updates till 30!  
  
Next Chapter: Kira's findings! 


	5. Echo

[waves with both hands then hides under a rock at fear of being shot] Um... I... I haven't really had the chance to update like I would have liked... that and coupled with no inspiration, this fic lay forgotten for a very long time. But- spring break and a time allowed for me to come up with something.  
  
That being said, I have a fan fiction archive that I wanna plug...:  
  
Greatestjournal [DOT] com/~ryuichirepublic  
  
Shorts and... shorts. When there are lemons in this story, they'll be posted there. ((yes, you have to edit the link because ff.net is mean and doesn't let me even put in unactive hyperlinks!))  
  
Now for the replies of well... a long time ago!:  
  
SAKURA-NO-TAMASHI: Yeah- Rociel is... just so out there; it would take him being smacked in the head repeatedly to see how much Katan cares for him... or...? [evil thoughts]  
  
MIDNIGHTINTHEGARDEN: Ah- I've never played more than the 1st game of Silent Hill- and the farthest I've gotten there is the school! How sad, ne? That game is so hard...  
  
HORYUU: Well I certainly hope target practice on Sara went well!  
  
SEPHYKOI: Lol- I can understand the near hate deal with Sara- I feel that way about Relena from Gundam Wing. She just... pushes my buttons and I really can't stand her. Getting in the way of 1x2... grr... ANYWAY- yeah- there'll probably be some lemon later on.  
  
MAE3: Yeah- *I'm* worried about how Rociel will react... freak out and attempt to kill him... or act cool and attempt to kill him? Hard to say!  
  
REKIAREIUM: I updated! I updated! PLEASE DON'T TAKE OUT MY PANCREAS! [faints]  
  
TAMACHAN444: "oh... is this an alternate universe thingy?" [sweatdrops]  
  
Anyway, enough with the reviews- onto the story!  
  
Oh- and before I forget, thank you HakuKumo for betaing this chapter!  
  
DISCLAIMER: No- it's not mine. The story is mine- but the rest belongs to some people with a lot more of a creative mind than mine!  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
/.../: Thoughts  
  
Gardenia: "Trying to Find You"  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Kira's dark eyes followed the gravel path that led to the drop off area of the mental institute. It seemed as if no one had driven nor walked on the path for ages. His own steps were like new markings across a plain and expanding field.  
  
He didn't like the place.  
  
/I can't believe they sent him HERE./ The teen adjusted his shoulder bag and stopped walking completely, his eyes now scanning the entire area as he turned in his spot. The willow trees looked as if they were hiding something; the marine layer was uncomfortable; and the building, it looked like something fake and out of a horror movie. /Did they make this place look this way on purpose?/  
  
He frowned and continued walking, and within minutes was stepping into the large reception area. The floor was reflective like glass, the walls white as pure snow, everything indicated cleanliness and orderliness.  
  
Kira briskly walked to the receptionist desk but immediately fell impatient when he found no one there. /What type of place are they trying to run...?/ He glanced from side to side, out of the corner of his eye he noticed a glass of water that apparently had been sitting on the counter for some time, a circle of water had formed from condensation. Again his eyes looked back at the counter and they fell upon a manila folder clearly labeled CONFIDENTIAL. /Not a very good place if they leave confidential files out./  
  
The time ticked by -10, 20 minutes- Kira had had enough. With a very impatient demeanor, he walked around the desk and started to sift through the time notebooks and several confidential files, finally coming on a log of patients and their rooms. Without hesitation he flipped quickly through the listing in the notebook, coming upon Setsuna's name and his room number.  
  
/This is bullshit.../ Kira frowned angrily as he looked around for the door that would lead to the holding rooms. He pushed it open and walked quickly inside- but within 4 steps the overwhelming urge to vomit was on his mind. He coughed and put his hand over his mouth, eyes watering and his nostrils flaring at the fumes he could connect to those in the past. The gases and fumes of corpses that hadn't been laid to rest hung heavily in the air.  
  
He closed his eyes and tried to adjust to the smell. It had been years since he'd been around a rotting body and it seemed his senses had forgotten how to get past them and forget the stench.  
  
After some time that knowledge came, though, and he was soon standing upright again, looking at the number of the door he was standing next to, 1128.  
  
"Fuck." A slightly gruff word came from his lips. Setsuna's room was number 3752.  
  
He began to walk down the corridor of cells, but curiosity was starting to get the better of him. Somewhere around room 2040, he stopped and glanced at one of the locked doors. There was a small window at the top, around eye level, containing a small closed shutter. He walked cautiously to the door, hand reaching out and touching the cold white surface and sliding the shutter open. Kira's eyes widened at the sight, or rather nearly lack of it.  
  
Inside there was nothing but a small bed, something that resembled a toilet, and a body that lay at an odd angle on the floor. The small amount of light that was shed on the body from the open shutter showed the body's frailty and lack of nutrition. It was dead from what Kira could only guess was starvation. He couldn't even open his mouth in shock or awe, the stench was stronger with him being so close to the door.  
  
~*~*~  
  
"Did you see that, Katan? He blinked at me! He blinked more than usual at me!" Rociel spun on his spot as the two walked on the lawn of the institute.  
  
"I saw, Rociel-sama." Katan said almost bitterly as he followed a few steps behind his master.  
  
Everyday the two spent hours walking around the institute, which has become their "daily exercise" and sight seeing trip. It usually consisted of Rociel speaking constantly about happenings with Alexiel that had existed in the past and his plans for the future with her as well.  
  
"Oh, she's coming, Katan. I can feel it in me... She's coming back and finally we can be together. Little moments like that show she's still alive."  
  
Katan nodded. He didn't deny the fact that Alexiel was still alive... he didn't doubt it. But he didn't believe that she was going to reveal herself again in Setsuna. After Setsuna's show of insanity, Katan believed she'd used her passion of war as well as her abilities, in that single murder that condemned Setsuna to be institutionalized. But that was it. He didn't believe she'd appear once again.  
  
"What do you think, Katan?" Rociel suddenly asked, causing the cherub to look up in surprise. /Since when has he cared what I've thought...?/ His master had stopped walking and was looking at him with a curious face.  
  
"I.." Katan looked down, internally panicking. He'd never before had to come up with an opinion pleasing to the angel. "I think Alexiel-sama can come back. It's only a matter of time." At Rociel's smile of painted lips, Katan felt immediate relief.  
  
"You're right. It's only a matter of time."  
  
The two made their way around the edge of the property, slowly making their way towards the walkway that led to the front doors of the institute. It would be 2 hours before they would find evidence of someone having walked there to visit.  
  
~*~*~  
  
"Setsuna." A female voice said with no emotion- merely speaking to get attention.  
  
The cold eyes of the owner of the name darted to the right and at the female sitting on his bed.  
  
"The time to start paying attention to the subjects in this world has come. He's come for you."  
  
Setsuna's entire body made no motion to show fear, anger, happiness, elation, none of it. He was still except for the curvature of his eyes starting to show brimming tears.  
  
"There will be time later for you to show your gratitude and joy. But now isn't that time. You need to listen to me and do as I say or neither of us will ever be able to stay with Nanatsusaya and there will never be another chance to take back the future."  
  
Setsuna's eyes fell to the ground, but he nodded only slightly to show acknowledgement.  
  
"When he comes here, you can not show your recognition of him, you must remain cold until..."  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
NEXT CHAPTER: Whatever. I have no idea at the moment. 


End file.
